yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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