True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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