Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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