it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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