I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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