well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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