so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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