he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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