The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
