i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
