you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
