Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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