Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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