your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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