I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
