You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
