He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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