He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
