He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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