It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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