If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
