I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
