Please, let me fuck your mom
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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