But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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