Apparently you make a good broom.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
