I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
