well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
