the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
