my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
