i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
