nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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