this beer tastes like vomit already
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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