i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
