I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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