Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
