did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
