The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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