yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
