I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize