Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
