Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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