My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
