But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think I am morally bankrupt
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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