her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
