Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
