First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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