You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize