If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
