hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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