if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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