I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
farters have to be the big spoon...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
