is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
that is very illegal...i love you.
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