And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Green mimosas i think yes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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