sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
