Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
