That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
