In the future we'll all be gay
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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