That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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