You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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